release the dogs...

you sit down to a huge meal..and one by one ..gather around and give thanks for your family and friends , health and wealth...its full of love and kisses , blessings and good wishes....

everyone goes to sleep..thankful for a wonderful evening.

then you get up at 3am...stand outside a discount department store- bum rush the door and kill a man.

i hope that next year , as you sit down to give thanks once again...you make sure to be thankful for the dvd player , slippers , and the hits of the 80's volume 2 that you got such a great deal on...i mean really...it was a steal.

what makes me even more proud of the human race...is the people who plan to sue for the fact that , while being just as greedy as those around them..got hurt. nice. really nice. now , i have no love for multi-million dollar corporations... but no one told you to get up at 3am..stand at a door for hours and then trample and push and beat down the people standing next to you..

joy to the world..

election...or citizens of the world....be forewarned..

ok...so the tokyo police club line in the title only really should make us all fearful if mccain wins.that's a scary thought.i told myself i wasn't going to watch the coverage..but i started. its been on about 23 minutes- and i'm kind of terrified. im not ready to move to another country..i mean sure...there's canada and im totally ready for that...but i've been thinking about the cold and how i don't like it...so i've been rethinking that whole plan...

please don't let mccain win. please please please don't ....

well...off to hollywood for a drink or two..to be nervous and election obsessed in public..

oh facebook...

so facebook - the social networking site that reconnects people with almost everyone they have ever known in life altogether.

i kind of love it. i kind of hate it. 

cause what it really does - is remind you of all the decisions that you made that got you to where you are right now. ...while at the same time showing you the decisions everyone else has made to get them to where they are.i'm not talking about the friends you see every day or every week at the bar..the friends you met at your current place in life. im talking about the friends you haven't seen in years...since highschool..since college...maybe even before.

it's so different... i mean you are all the same age and share so many of those early ..growing up/ learning from experiences...but your lives are so different now. right now , im not sure if im jealous of some of those lives or not. im torn. i mean ..sure it would be nice right now if i were getting ready to put my kids to bed and talk about my day and what the kids did with my husband...but at the same time that kind of scares the fuck out of me. cause its a wednesday night...i've been home from work for a few hours ..and drank a bottle of wine and made a bunch of new amazing playlists for my ipod... texted with a few people...and if i felt like spending money..id probably go over to hollywood and play some trivia...wake up tomorrow and hate work all day. that doesn't scare me. that's kind what i know. i mean sure , i got spoiled for awhile ... not working until 11am ish and granted it was until whatever time...but at the same time... i got to talk antiques with mike ness...and laugh at ashlee simpson's vocal lessons... have a hug out contest with gavin degraw...i realize i just name dropped a lot...but it never really affected me at all. i mean it was all kind of whatever..just another day...(alright- the mike ness thing made me stop breathing for a second...but its mike ness...c'mon now-he has written some of the best songs ever in the history of life...) does that make me jaded - i don't know. i guess i kind of am. i mean people are just people...and what you see and hear isn't always what's real. and i guess that's mostly my problem. what's that whole thing about what's good for one person isn't always good for the next...or one man's garbage is another's treasure...geese and ganders and all that...i guess i really just want the best of both worlds...i guess my self pitying tonight is about the fact that i've never been offered both worlds... at least not in the sense that i want to be...at least not in sense that it's ever been real enough to make it happen.

on your porch...

i have alot to say...but can't think of anything right now... i signed in to talk to myself...which is all i do here..so i guess its what i wanted -ish... i don't even know what i want to say to myself...i guess its really all about this new semi realistic opportunity i have...i don't like to get too into anything...cause let's be real..it's never real and always ends up hurting me.. but if this is real...i'm terrified and so excited... i mean i want so many conflicting things..but...i have to do this... if it's real...which i don't believe... is that smart or stupid? it's  a chance...i have to take so as soon as it becomes real...i have to. it's scaring me to death... and i just realized the two most important things in my life are the two things that scare me to death...love and survival...is that the right word? survival? im not sure...i was a spoiled kid ..always had someone to take care of me til i didn't..and i had to..and i've managed to..and i have to say i haven't been terrible at it...but yeah, let's be real...i wish i was like  that princess that gets everything she wants and when she wants..can we retract that? can i give up that pair of jeans for the awesome job i want? i feel like i may have used up all the - here ya go- when i was 12 ...it didn't really matter then...i kind of wish i had it now..but if i did ..would i be that girl i hate? i don't know...i mean really...i can imagine as well as anyone..probably better..but really who knows who any one would be with one simple change...one moment...its scary...im drunklike... so regardless.. i called...nevermind regardless... i hate when i don't feel anything and i hate when i do...

this was the sound of the very last gang in town..

so im home for a few minutes... today's events...not all that eventful ...i waited for about an hour for michael on various street corners so we could go to latin fest... i was approached by some guy who seems to be in a religious cult now..he remembers me from school. ok. he named a bunch of classes that existed..i think gina took one or two of them... not sure...i know i didn't..but ok...sure ...we know each other...fine.....two minutes later some guy tried to give me a kitten. 

we festivaled it for a bit...a religious group came over and michael and i took the survey.i don't think they liked our answers.we explained that the bible is a work of fiction...and that if jesus were around today..the cia would have taken him out...hands down. the part i think they appreciated the most was when i mentioned i went to catholic school for years..eh..we left entertained..they cursed us to hell...it's all good.

so we made our way down the street...some crackhead told me i was a goddess and i had goddess powers and to be wary of me... that made me smile...i love attention of the ridiculous variety.. 

now im home...and waiting for michael to return... apparently we are going out again... see i told you tonight wasn't of much interest... but we are going out to look for a girl michael likes...unfortunately for him ...she likes girls... so im not sure what are we looking to accomplish...but yeah , lets's go. see... now that i started this i feel like i have to use it and write stuff...yet its all rambling and nothing all that interesting. i mean seriously , if you know me and are one of my good friends ( which is the only people i expect will ever even look at this..if they even bother) you already know these stories...cause you were there or i texted you already.so anyways...maybe more later..maybe not...

and so it goes...

so i'm not one hundred percent sure what i am doing this for... but i've been thinking about it for awhile..and finally , today - as i'm sort of trapped in my room due to furniture being moved and replaced and tossed about in the rest of my house...here we have it. 

i guess i should tell you a few things to start. i don't capitalize. i don't like it. my punctuation isn't always the best , yet i was an english major. i just write whatever and however i want to...

my third grade teacher called me out on this in our creative writing projects. i referred to e.e. cummings and she dropped it.

i should also mention i'm a big time abuser of the ellipses. if it is possible to be in love with a symbol, that's mine.so that should cover most of what will be criticized in my style of writing. 

deal with it or don't -i really don't care too much.

so i don't really know too much about this site or how to navigate through it so i'm hoping i'll learn. 

i had all these thoughts and ideas earlier today as i was driving home from the gym. they've all managed to escape me now. i really need to start carrying a pen and paper...although, somehow i feel like that kills the moment. i mean writing it down and then transcribing it on a website seems a bit contrived-doesn't it? who knows. 

i also have an obsession with graffiti.people tend to write and draw some amazing things in very found spaces. bar bathrooms are especially colorful. i've posted one i especially love. although , i didn't take the picture- it was in the men's room. i'm not sure why that really stopped me. it probably wouldn't have, had i not had someone else ready and willing to do it for me. 

ok... so this is the first post on this...hopefully , i will have a bit more to say later on but i think the great furniture barricade of 2008 is over. it's a friday and a beautiful day. i'm off to find an adventure...